Warning! This site contains graphic imagery and descriptions, proceed with caution.
Art
WIPS / Practices
Character design idea
I really like the outfit idea I made here, I'm not sure if I'll expand on this character or use the outfit for someone else but for now this is put aside while I work on OLM
Side profile
Side profiles can be pretty difficult, so in this image I decided to give it a shot and it turned out not too bad IMO.
Shading practice
I don't exactly know my style yet when it comes to shading comics and stuff, so I made this to try and see. I prefer the right one honestly.
Tree
I practiced drawing a tree in this art, of course I used leaf brushes because I'm not drawing all of those leaves by hand, but i feel like it didn't turn out too bad.
Eye coloring practice
It's been a while since i've done a eye coloring practice, and I think it turned out pretty good.
New(er) Artwork
Yuri + x0o0x_
This is a redraw of one of x0o0x_'s songs, I really like this particular one so I decided to draw it. I'm really proud of this.
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No current drawing here, please come back later!
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Old art
First digital art (2020)
It's already been nearly 4 years since I started doing digital art! It really is something to see.. I never redrew this though due to the fact I don't really draw animals anymore.
Angel (2020)
This was another one of my old OC's, this one has been retired since 2021 though.
Pumpkin(2020-2021?)
Basically just a kedamono reskin..
Snowy (cat form)
In Snowy's original lore, she blew up earth and went into space?? I have no clue why but she just did I guess.. (2020)
Snowy predesign+friend oc
I can not express how much i hate this to be honest, but we all gotta start somewhere. This is when I really started drawing humans. also this is the outfit i went as Snowy that one year.
Other forms of art
Poems
This section contains poems with very dark topics and graphic details. Please be warned. These poems are also not in order of the times they were made.
Bloom
I pass by a field of flowers on a early spring morning
I stop and stare at them, thinking about you
I decide to pick one up that reminds me most of you
I cherish it and hold it close to me
I take it home and put it in a special place on my windowsill
I watch it flourish and bloom
Just as beautiful as you.
Adore
I love you
I love how you sound
I love how kind you are
I love how pretty you are
I love how smart you are
I love how brave you are
I love how strong you are
I love how caring you are
I love every inch of your skin
I love all of you
There isn’t a single thing about you that I don’t love
Melt
Everything you do it adorable
It makes me melt
The way you giggle
It makes me melt
The way you get all flustered sometimes
It makes me melt
The way you express how you feel
It makes me melt
It makes my heart melt most of all though.
Physical
I want you to hold me
Hold me close to you, please
Maybe even a kiss or two
That’s all I ask, it’s all I want
What’s your love language?
Letter
I’d keep a letter
For every month until we get married
And on the night of our honeymoon
I would show you all of them
It would show how my love for you never changed or faded
How over time it grew even stronger
I can’t wait for you to read all the wonderful things I wrote
It’ll still never equal to the love I feel for you though
Bittersweet
As nostalgic tales of the past
cloud my mind
I think of a memory
one to cherish for all time
Crying once again
longing for the past
Never to reach
the falling night sky
Maybe I’ll give it all up
Take a new route and start a new life
But without those memories of childhood
What is there to have innocence of?
Forever chasing after the one long gone
So I’ll sleep some more and wish I’ll wake up within the tomorrows past.
Smile
Sometimes I smile,
And I don’t know why
When I don’t feel anything,
I’ll still smile
And when I feel loneliness,
I’ll smile
Even if I don’t want to smile
I will regardless
When I see you
I’ll smile extra wide to show you I’m okay
But I have nothing to smile about
Nothing is happy anymore.
Bad day
I wake up today
Yet you don’t say good morning
I go to school
You don’t say anything at all
I go home
No answer from you
I do homework and read a book
You won’t respond
I eat dinner
And you say nothing
I go to sleep
You don’t say goodnight.
I dream of you
You haven’t said a word since you left.
I wake up
I go to school
I go home
I grab a knife
I smile and say a few words
“I’ll be with you at last, my dear.”
Ame
It’s raining again
I want it to stop
My curtains are closed
I like it that way.
The sun is nice
But it’s always so rainy here
The rain drops fall and dance in the air
And hit the ground hard
I feel sad
It’ll rain forever.
Lost
Friendships don’t always last
One left in the past
Maybe I should be silent
Maybe I should forget
But would you do the same?
Leave me behind without a single shame
Forget my name,,
Everything I’ve done maybe wasn’t worth it anyways
Maybe you should lose me
Maybe it would be better if you just left
I’m sorry I couldn’t be better and just disappeared
My heart aches
My head hurts
I’m confused and lost
Maybe you’ve lost me too.
Murder
Gripping the handle of a knife, a blade meets my chest
It slices a wound open, blood oozing out of it
encapsulating my emotions with fear, frantically trying to escape
Deafening cries admit from my mouth, filling the room
rapidly to be silenced with a grabbing motion at my throat
choking on the emptiness, hurling up stomach contents
Pain unbearable, petrified and afraid
today I will die, though i never expected it
Worth
The color of a rose, red
But do you know how they got like that?
It was from a person, their blood staining the roses
a ruby, shimmering red
eventually, there was no blood left in that person and their body went cold
so sometimes, you'll still find roses blank with white
because the person was never enough
Cotton candy skies
Skies of clouds, covered in gray
Rain dripping and splashing on the ground, pitter patter
A storm on its way today, what oh what will I do if i get caught in this rain?
But might I worry I know it'll all be okay
With your help, the skies will clear away
To a sunset with a hue of pink and blue
Like a yummy cotton candy treat
It's all worth it as long as I'm with you.
Witness
I saw the remains of a accident
The end of ends for someone
I could go home, and watch TV
But the memory of such a thing will haunt me
For I was just a kid, entranced with dreams
Dreams filled with horror and misty futures
Whether it be a rope, a gun, a knife, or even my own hands
The fate held me tightly, and would not let go
Even if it was all a nightmare, when I awoke i was safe
The foreboding pain my body had felt would not cease
When it got to the point I couldn't have wanted it
Nothing changed, the ache remained
To witness your own death so many times
A tragedy is bound to occur.
Disturbed
Slicing at me, a knife cuts deep
Fear instilled, hurling up stomach contents
Breaking down the matters of my brain, reduce the value to zero
Removing my organs from inside of my body
Intestines squishy and warm, like pasta
Lastly the heart, carved a mark into it
I've made quite the mess.
Fault
I know it now, I know it true
It is all my fault, this is my punishment
and this punishment wont cease till I die.
I know all of them are watching too, through the eyes of someone who receives a poem.
All the words I write are bitter, to those I love dearly
I know this is my punishment, I'm forced to watch you all move on
now to live much happier lives, while i sit here and get what i deserve
I'm always the one to blame.
Piercing
Say what you may
A bite worse than a bark
But you can't realize
What you say hurts my heart.
Lying
Promises, promises.
No matter how many I make
Mirrors, mirrors.
The reflection will break
Promises, Promises.
Never to keep
Promises, Promises.
Forever asleep.
Haunted
Haunted by a memory
Like a ghost who glares
At the back of my neck
Sharp like a knife
Like a weight heavy
Breaking my back
With the burden I carry
If maybe there was a way
Where I could wash away this memory
I’d take it at a heartbeat
I don’t want this memory to stay
So maybe I’ll try burying it out in the back garden.
Maybe
Maybe I’ll smile today
Maybe today I’ll take a shower
Maybe today I will adopt a cat
Maybe today I’ll make some money
Maybe today I might give into urges
Maybe today I’ll finally be happy
Maybe today I will die
Maybe today it’ll finally end
Maybe today I’ll reach out for help
Maybe today
Imitation
What are imitations?
Is an imitation a mime?
Is imitation a clown?
Is imitation a reflection in the mirror?
Did you know?
You’re an imitation too.
Sorrow
Filled with grief
A cut too deep
Through my heart
One colder than ice
I vanished away
Without a trace
Rainy day
It’s raining again
Drops hit my windowsill
As I look out down to the street
A raindrop hits my fingertip
As I stare at it another one soon joins in
But it is not from the clouds
From my eyes is where it came
Mixing in with the raindrop
And soon another follows, and one more, and another
Soon like the clouds I rain down too
And bury my head in my knees
As the rain pours down on me.
Reality
I’m sick, really sick
And there is no cure for my illness
Medicine can help, but it can’t end the pain
Only a temporary relief
I have to come to realize
That there is no more hope for me anymore
But I have dreams, dreams I want to achieve
What am I meant to do when all I can do here is lay in bed?
We all die someday
But I know that no matter how many times I try to
Nothing changes, I don’t die
Am I cursed?
Why am I forced to constantly stay here?
The darkness surrounds me, and all I’m able to do is follow a blind light
Luring me into a false sense of hope
Sometimes I feel happy, sometimes it’s fun
I always am forced to remember the happiness of the past
Haunting me like a vengeful spirit
And the weight is killing me.
Nothing can stop this, can it?
This feeling inside of me grows more and more each time
How could I ever deal with this?
Why should I keep going on?
My words are sharp like a knife slicing deep
Blood flowing out as if a river of hatred
I should just be able to withstand the torment
To be able to handle the cuts
But each time I’m hit, it repeats over
I cover my ears and try to hide
And even when I try to face it
It’s always the same outcome
Can I ever forgive myself for this?
Bus-chan inspired poem
Guilt weighs me down
It jabs at me like a knife at my throat
I could just swallow all the pain of the past
And try and bear it, to smile again
For acting like I enjoy living, is probably the best.
But even if I try and make myself believe
Nothing will change the burden I am to others
I wish to disappear, to be away from here
But I know there's only way I can do that
So I'll say my farewells, and grab the blade.
Rock inspired poem
Strum of a guitar
A wrong note, and another, and another
Why can't I get it right?
I wish I could be as good as her
But behind is where I always stand at
When I think about it though
It's not so bad
Maybe she has the same struggles as me
I'm proud of my progress
I'll work even harder for the future.
Ima
Ocean waves crash into a wall
The sounds they make, my name they call
It repeats, beckoning me to the sea
If I go ahead with this, will I finally be free?
Life was only good a long time ago
But now it'll never be good again, I know
I can't stop now, theres no way to go
And so the crashing waves, over my body they will flow.
Endpoint
Alone in a field of flowers
I can't even remember how many years i've been here
By myself with nothing but my fears
No one to wipe away my tears
"I wish to disappear" but nothing changed
The choice I made was severe
Now I gaze up at the stars
Even if I tried to reach the, they're still too far
Regret stabs at a faded scar
A reminder of my mistake
Now I'm forever stuck in this place
With no escape
最後の夢
Glistening lights reflect the knife
A point of view of a heart so torn
The ringing sound of electricity fills my ears
In unison my head cries out for the silence
Looping over and over till i feel numb
Could I stay over for just one more night?
The scenery shines through the cities lights
What is forgiveness and happiness really?
I hope soon I could wake up from this nightmare
But the ink of a pen always finds itself stained on the paper
さよならみんな、今ひとりぼっち
forever sleep
could it be?
Nightmares always plague my dreams
yet happiness is something i no longer see
losing something dear to me hurts
but i cant do anything but take the blame
all of my hopes were just a final breath
to try and break away from this suffering
so now, with nothing but myself
open eyes, at night i will lay
Under moonlight
We embrace eachother, and hold hands too
The glimmering stars light our path
Love burning brightly in our hearts
I couldn't say it any better
Oh how I love you
愛
Love is a subjective thing
People feel love in different ways
Platonic, Lust, Romantic
They’re all ways of love
You can show love through action
Or you can show love through words
But you taught me how amazing love could be
With your kind words and soft demeanor, I could truly understand and appreciate it.
But as it’s faded to a broken bond instead of a shared thing
You also taught me how cruel it could be.
Thoughts
The early morning birds chirp
Singing their song at the sight of the sunrise
In a room so quiet that even the smallest scuffle of a mouse could be deafening
And there you are on the ground, staring at me with tears in your eyes
But who even knows if caring was what you wanted to do?
Oh in this state, I wouldn’t know even if you shouted my name
I ask that you take care of yourself
And don’t make the same mistakes I did.